Daily English 1299 - Trading Insults

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Alan:  Look at you!  Did you get a haircut or did your head get stuck in a weed-whacker?

Doris:  Look who’s talking.  Maybe you should do something different with your hair, like wash it.

Alan:  Oh, burn. That would have been a nice comeback if it weren’t so dumb. Who taught you your one-liners?  A friend?  Oh, I forgot.  You don’t have any.

Doris:  I think you’ve confused me with someone else – you!

Alan:  You couldn’t come up with your own put-down so you had to borrow mine? How humiliating for you.

Doris:  Not as humiliating as having to walk around with that face. I have something that’ll improve it:  a paper bag!

Alan:  Oh, clever. I knew better insults when I was six years old.

Doris:  You mean the same mental age you are now?

Alan:  Give it up.  Nobody can one up me in trading insults.  Your brain is no match for mine.

Doris:  You’re right.  You’re a person of rare intelligence.  You rarely show any!


Script by Dr. Lucy Tse

Category: Relationships + Family

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