Clerk: Hello, how can I help you?
Spencer: I’d like to return a few things I received over the holidays.
Clerk: Okay, do you have gift receipts?
Spencer: I do for this item. It’s unopened and unused.
Clerk: Let me see. I can give you a refund, but there will be a small restocking fee.
Clerk: I’m afraid so.
Spencer: Okay, that’s fine. I also received this one as a gift, but don’t have a receipt.
Clerk: Let me look up that merchandise in our system. It looks like it was a clearance item and it was a final sale.
Spencer: But it’s unworn.
Clerk: I understand that. The best I can do is to allow you to exchange it if it doesn't fit or give you store credit.
Spencer: I’ll take the store credit. What about this?
Clerk: Let me see. That item was purchased on our online store and it can’t be returned to a store location, only through our website.
Spencer: And this? It doesn’t work.
Clerk: I’m sorry, but that was also a clearance item and was sold in as-is condition.
Spencer: [sigh] All right.
Clerk: Can I help you with anything else?
Spencer: Only if you can visit the other three stores to return the rest of my gifts.
Clerk: You didn’t get what you wanted for the holidays, huh?
Spencer: My family and friends have great senses of humor, but how many gag gifts can one man own?
Script by Dr. Lucy Tse